For Smile This Father's Day

Smile...uv been a great lover for me....you've proven enough to see your worth...and i really feel bad that u felt that u are not appreciated....

iv appreciated you a lot....it just doesnt show...coz we are overshadowed with hate and anger coz of the trials we're having these times.....

how i wish i could make u feel that u are loved more than ever.

i may not tell this to u often but u are incomparable to anyone...coz nagiisa ka lang....other may not understand you but i do....

as a father of my baby,i will tell our baby that u are so great...that we are lucky having a Daddy like you....

il pray that we'll overcome these all...
wla tayong trials na di nalampasan noon...and my faith never fails me....

i love you.....noon..ngayon....and til my last heartbeat....


Always, SmileKaren--06.20.09

The Things That Threatens Our Relationship

There are lot of things that threaten our relationship....we always argue...we also fight...we raise voices to each other...im afraid we're losing respect to each other....and if it so,everything will be going down...
...maybe these are all happening coz of the problems that came into our lives....
i got pregnant...and a lot of unexpected events that happened....sa sobrang problematic ni Smile...at sa pagbubuntis ko narin..nagiging complicated ang lahat....

sana di dumating ang panahon na isa sa amin ang bibitaw....and il make sure na hindi ako yon...alam kong time will come na our relationship will come to an end..but i dont want to be like this...

soon,we'll be having our baby...yokong hatred ang nanatili samin til dumating ang bata..i want our baby feel na "love" ang bumuo skanya....

we're in deep shit sa relationship nmin..and im praying so hard na matapos na ito...!!!

sabagay,it's my fault....ngayong nagbubuntis ako..maxado akong nagger....maxadong doubtful ng mind ko....maxadong insecure sa time...sa lahat....
and maybe that's the reason why nag-aaway kmi...
ksi nman marami sanang dapat na di dapat..!!!
kaya sana maintindihan din niya...
he always tells me na ako tong di nakakaintindi..
i knw his hardships...
i knw his pressures...
and i also wanna be with him sa mga tyms na gnon..
paano?di na ksi kmi nagkakasma ng madalas..
maxado xang focused sa work..ksi nga mayron na xang bigger responsibility sakin now...

maybe time will come na magkakaintindihan na kmi...
sana it wont end...i mean our relationship...

why?coz i love him...
i want my baby to know his father....
alam kong we cant be together officially..but im hoping that we'd make a great fmily.

Do i have to Let Go?

as i write this blog...Joy and I are chatting to each other...we are arguing things that we keep on arguing since we started this relationship...what is it? Quality Time..

i keep on thinking of this idea...do i have to let go?
i mean..im kinda tired of cryin'...
im still inlove but im fed up of restless thinking...
this isn't gonna work...
if ill let go,what would happen?
will i be happy?could i move on?

im running out of hope...

im bleeding...

if ul ask if he still love me..i can feel he still does..

but there are lots of changes...
i dont want changes in relationships..

i hate to think that im such a failure...
let's see where would this bring me...
il just let u know tomorrow.

We Might Call It Quit

Yesterday i got drunk...i drank Tanduay...why?coz i wanna let out my hurt feelings...i wanna burst it out...so did i...i was so hurt of thinking that anytime i might lose him...things are getting complicated for us...things are getting worse...coz at the first place,we knew anytime we could get this way...i cried a lot.. was bleeding...
6pm- he arrived...he was also sad..he knew i ws hurt...he was sick also..he cannot think clearly...but one thing that hurt me most yesterday..it was seeing him seemed giving up...that hurt me alot... but he told me he wont give up...he just try to fix things for us.. we wont be seeing each other for days...well..dat is also sad..i will miss him a lot...the question is..will he come back for me?or i will just learn to accept that i am slowly losing him...

the girl..she sent me msgs...that she wont stop til she knows who i really am..i was a bit frightened..but i dont care..i still want to hold on...i believe him...
whatever happens...time will tell when to let go...hope it is never too late...

Seeing Him After 2 Days

well,after this blog il be going to city...to my bf's office..il go see him coz we already talked about this before..

i dont seem excited to see him..yet hurt coz after 2 days of not seeing each other,i dotn see the intense feeling of missing someone...does this mean im not that inlove with him? well,if il learn to let go of him..maybe i shud try not seeing him very often...

omigod,why am i telling this,hehehe..well,maybe we missed each other..it just doesn't show..we'll see....

wait,before i forgot..before mom left,she really scolded us...and she told us to leave our boyfriends..hahaha...as if i can do it...

2 days seem so long

i won't see him in two days coz lastnyt he was too busy with his work...he must catch up with the rushes..and tonight i cannot see him coz mom is coming and i cannot let him come to my house..
God i miss him so much...wla jud ko naanad na dili mi magkita bah...
but it's ok...absence makes the heart grow fonder daw eh...so il try that..heheh..

last nyt...a girl who's somewhat related to my bf sent me a msg..well,she tried to insult me and everything...but ok lang kay klaro na kaayo na ako ang importante kay Joy...so kabalo na xa na wla na xa..harharhar..kabalo naman mo cguro kinsa ng bayhana..if wla pa..yaw nalang ah..hehehe..

pero ang point jud dri..miss na nako ako Smile...

i want to do some things pra dli ko mingawon..naa mo advice?

my love grows stronger

as i write this blog..he is near from me but he's kinda busy doing his job.. as of now,we are together happily.. we fight sometimes..i cry often but still we hold on to each other..why?coz we love each other..each and every day he proves to me that im worth of his loving... sometimes,i make fight just to come up with the idea of arguing of the doubts in my mind..i got a lot of doubts.but what can i do?i cannot just put that away in my mind..only the two of us knew the reasons of this...

i just thank God fir making him stay in my life this long..dapat nga matagal na niya akong iniwan kasi palaaway talaga ako...but he still held on to his promise that he'll always love me no matter what.. everytime we fight i always ask him to leave..but he still stay in my front..ewan..bakit q ba inaaway ang taong nagpahalaga sakin ng ganito..maybe im just afraid to lose him...dami kong fears...hayyyy...